On the 4% of Life

Perhaps I haven’t found myself in Spain (I wasn’t really trying, to my knowledge), but I’ve made a pretty big realization.

Living and traveling overseas has accounted for roughly 4% of my life. I’ve seen like .01% of the world over this period of time, yet I have been content to let this be the dominant label of how I have defined myself for the past three or so years, which is totally my bad and a misguided attempt to be Very Interesting and Awesome to people I meet.

I’ve walked quite a distance over the past few weeks and hadn’t really come up with anything earth shattering until a day before I finished, so here it is: I am not defined by where I’ve been, or what weird food I’ve eaten, but rather the place I call home. Where I’ve grown up. How my relationship with God–not how many countries I’ve visited–has completely changed my life and continues to do so. Family, friends, mentors, coworkers, teachers: these are the people who help shape me, make me better than I could possibly be on my own. I am a product of these wonderful people and a weird place called Oregon and a God who loves me an unbelievable amount. The 4% is a footnote within a much bigger story.

Look, I am SO thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given, to be overseas and meet amazing people and do some pretty cool stuff. Traveling is an education and a passion I hope to always be pursuing throughout my life. But to go so far as to place so much of my self worth in it is folly. To use it as a means of proving my usefulness as a friend or as a potential employee or whatever is misguided at best, devastating at worst. Who defines themselves by 4% of their life anyway? It’s like picking out the carrots in an amazing and elaborately prepared stew and saying, “Hey, look at these carrots!” as if the freaking carrots are what make the stew so amazing. As if anyone would even notice their absence in the first place (I know, I’m really pushing this food analogy. It’s kind of my thing.)

I’m still learning to give credit where it is due. To be humble. To walk slow. To listen instead of speak. To appreciate the entire thing instead of selectively picking out the stuff that looks or sounds good.

Anyway, to my family, friends, Oregon: I love you. Keep being you. I’ll be home soon.